Responsibility is yours for the taking

In our productive leadership workshops, one of the issues we address is the importance of taking charge. In this training segment there is a set of quotes from an Ann Landers column about the things people have told their auto insurance company after an accident.

Some of the funniest quotes are:

"The pedestrian had no idea which direction to go, so I caught up with him." I have a vision of a squirrel man in the middle of the road caught in the indecision.
"The telephone pole was approaching quickly, I was trying to strip myself when it hit my forehead."
My personal favorite: "I walked away from the side of the road, I looked at my mother-in-law and headed to the embankment".

Through all these quotes, there is a common thread: the person making the statement does everything possible to divert responsibility. Not taking control is a defense mechanism to avoid the consequences of bad decisions. These drivers made bad decisions because they were not paying attention to the reality of their situation.

In all three previous citations, the drivers had no control of their vehicles, and there were consequences. To take charge, you must first recognize that you are responsible for putting yourself in a given situation.

A personal example of a vehicle theme: several years ago, I had a meeting in a downtown office building. There was parking within walking distance of the office building. Worried about the next meeting, I went into the parking lot and parked the rental car near the corner at the end of the parking garage closest to the building where I was going. I came to my appointment with a lot of time and I had a productive meeting. Returning to the garage, I was surprised by an almost flat strip of guano bird in a 4-inch strip across the width of the car's roof.

When I got to the place, I was thinking about the next meeting. I did not think anyone else was parked in that area, nor did I notice the pigeons gathered in a beam above my car. Nor did I see the pattern of bird guano on the floor of the garage. The signals were all around me, but I did not notice them, so I did not proactively avoid the predictable bombardment. I have never been happier than driving a rental car. I was responsible - not the pigeons - for the "drawings" on the hood of the car. Nor was it the fault of the garage operator. He had not been proactive.

Reality exists, with predictable results. Sometimes reality has a limited scope and minor consequences. Making a rental car with a crude racecourse is a minor consequence for me, although this could be more important for the car wash manager. At other times, the scope is very large, with important consequences. The squirrel man who was probably crushed would agree that he had a significant consequence. But the squirrel man might have been more aware of his reality (the car is approaching). Reality does not worry if we notice it before the outcome happens.

Being attentive and looking for realities allows us to avoid the consequences if we are proactive. We can make choices, like not parking under a well-fed flock of doves. What we teach in workshops is that taking care of them means increasing their responsiveness. You accept responsibility by choosing:

Your thoughts, feelings and actions.
If it is and how you make changes in your reality or circumstances.
Accept what you can not change, but act to minimize the consequences.

You can choose how to respond to events in your life only if you accept the reality of the situation. Accountability means that we choose how to respond. The decisions we make are shaped by logic, how consequences can affect us, and how our behaviors are programmed.

Remember that if you do not get involved, you will feel like a victim of your situation. If you believe you are a victim of circumstances, you will think and act as a victim. If you act as a victim, you will model these behaviors for your team members, who are more likely to feel victimized.